Death to Be Mourned

Today we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valued lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn’t always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies {don’t spend more than you earn} and reliable parenting strategies {adults, not kids, are in charge}. His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition!

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot and spilled it in her lap, so she sued and was awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense’s wife Modesty died from a heart attack after learning of the death of her husband, they were buried side by side in the graveyard of Politeness, unfortunately no one knows where exactly in the graveyard they lay, tombstones couldn’t be afforded because the money went to save the trees on the other side of the fence. Common Sense and Modesty were preceded in death by his Dad, Trust, his Mom, Discretion: and his brothers, Responsibility and Reason are also no longer of this world.

He is survived by his two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still know him pass this on, if not you can give him a second death.